You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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