69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
