I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize