3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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