eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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