Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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