you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
