Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
