There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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