If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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