Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
