i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
