WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
