I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
