I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
