His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
