It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
