He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
