I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
