worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
