even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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