if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
