I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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