Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
