Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
