I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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