YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
