I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
