i can't believe i had my finger in that
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
