Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
