did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
