Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
