He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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