booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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