I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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