he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
