Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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