She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize