One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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