You're completely useless in the revolution.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
MIDGETS
????
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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