For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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