Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
