I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
