I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My vagina is officially offended.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
