it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
