can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
