He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
