Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize