If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
