We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
