I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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