i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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