just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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