just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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