if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
