one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
