hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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